today my big sister amy arrived home from seven weeks in new zealand. she doesn't live at home any more and i only get to see her every so often, but having her in another country meant there wasn't any way to visit her at all, apart from pretend visiting via skype. the only other time she's been overseas was a short holiday in fiji and having her gone so long (she was planning on staying for three-six months) was heartbreaking for my parents. i'd show them all of the pictures she'd upload and we'd occasionally call her. the first time dad saw her on skype (he's not very good with technology and didn't understand entirely), he started crying so much that he had to hand back my laptop.
amy is three, nearly four, years older than me and loves travelling already at age nineteen. i hope that when i'm her age, i have the money and confidence to travel abroad. i ache to travel and get much too excited over travel magazines. i'm the worst at geography though and have no idea where most countries are. i love making lists of where i want to go and what landmarks i want to see. my dream is to travel and i feel as though i'll be disappointed in myself if i never get or take the opportunity to. only a year and a half left of school before i'm free.
this afternoon i visited one of my best friends, marishka, who lives a street and a house away from me. despite the closeness, it's rare these days for us to see each other often. we stayed out til dinner time when it was dark and i was shivering on her driveway in my thin school uniform and the winter weather seemed to breeze straight through me. i saw the stars come out one by one and we talked and talked as the high beams of passing car headlights flooded our faces.
heaven's not a place that you go when you die, it's that moment in life when you actually feel alive.
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